fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
