I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
