I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
