I feel like abortions should bother me more
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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