Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
