By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
