He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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