i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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