I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
