idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
