Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
