So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
