I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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