My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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