What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
