Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
