I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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