At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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