He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
