im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
