Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
