dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So many bounce houses so little time
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
