their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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