I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize