why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
