don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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