he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
