You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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