i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
