i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
