just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
