did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
