I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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