Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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