To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She said her name was "party"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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