I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
