my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
