Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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