I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
