It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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