I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
