I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
