I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
