careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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