considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
