I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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