I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
