the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
