she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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