i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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