Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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