An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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