Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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