I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
