i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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