Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
