I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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