Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
