ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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