Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
