break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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