they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
