a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
