I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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