So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
