dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
