he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
