I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
