You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
